All of the therapies I offer I have personal experience with, I offer them because I have had incredible and life changing results, in this post I am going to share some of my recent experiences with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) and with a door closing hypnotherapy session.
I was guided into trance by my wonderful friend and therapist Karen, she led me to a doorway which was accessible via an ancient oak tree, the details of the doorway have since subsided in my mind but that’s OK, what happened when I went through the door is something I am unlikely to ever forget. Emerging through the doorway I was greeted by a long corridor filled with doors, some were accessible and others were not, what really struck me was the lion pacing next to one of the doors, the door which he stood guarding was chained shut, there was no way to access it and even if I could I wouldn’t have been able to go inside.
What door closing offers is a neutral reset within relationships and I had 4 names on my list, 2 were really important to draw a line under, 1 was something I just needed total closure with and the last was my dad who I lost to suicide in 2012. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted or needed to go in and talk to him, but I did and it was magical and highly emotional for me and my therapist. Dad’s door was last, Karen asked me whether I wanted to go in and after careful consideration I nodded my head, signalling that I would like to go ahead. Ordinarily people cannot talk to you when you go into a room to door close, however, as my dad had passed over we agreed before the session that he would be an exception to this rule and could communicate with me, as soon as I gave the nod my bottom lip started to go and a tissue appeared in my hand as if by magic. Walking through that door and seeing my dad there was amazing. I cannot recall exactly what we spoke about, however, I do remember feeling so grateful that I was gifted the opportunity to have this final conversation with him, it was closure and it gave me the answers I had been seeking.
When you lose a loved one to suicide it leaves you wondering why, and because the coroner ruled open verdict, it was questionable as to whether his death had been a tragic accident and not suicide at all, all I know is that over the last 8 years I have healed myself on every level, mind, body and spirit and his death is no longer something I grieve over, I was blessed to have him as my father and I’ll see him in the next life. Our door may be closed but our connection lives on.
I know you’re probably curious about this lion, I know I was and it held so much symbolism to the relationships I was working on resetting, I didn’t need the emotional trauma from those experiences anymore and going into the first door was incredibly powerful. This was the door with mum written on it. My mother and I had a volatile relationship at best, the details of which are irrelevant, however when I came out of this room the lion who had guarded the chained door had gone and the chains that once kept me from moving forward and through this door had also vanished, I was now able to deal with the person sat behind it.
This door was the door of my ex whom I was still sharing a home with, our relationship had broken to a point of no repair and had turned incredibly toxic during the 3 months that we cohabited as exes, within a week of doing this door closing session she had given me her moving dates, this was liberating to say the very least. I’ve never believed in coincidences and this was perfectly timed with my hypnotherapy session. The lion linked my ex and mum metaphysically. They are both very similar in their ways and I felt incredibly small and insignificant next to them. It’s curious how our mind can show us these things in hypnotherapy, or in meditation, there is always symbolism in these images or words and it’s equally curious how something as simple as a lion guarding a chained door, can link two very controlling female characters together in a way that promotes deep levels of healing.
Maybe now you can see why I am so passionate about this particular hypnotherapy session, my own clients have had some mind blowing results and I will never ever tire of facilitating this session as it’s so powerful and transformative. One of my ladies literally bumped into an abusive ex-partner in the street, she felt nothing, no anxiety, no fear, no cold dread…. Nothing. She also had a physical release of pain in her shoulder that had been giving her problems for years, when she came out of her trance she asked me what I had done to her, she felt like she had lost 2 stone in weight and her shoulder which she had been seeing the osteopath and had been paying for regular massage, it no longer hurt. The pain and trauma she had been carrying had released in the most spectacular of ways, a wonderful side effect to a life changing hypnotherapy session.
Moving onto my EMDR experiences, I have had EMDR twice and both times have proven incredibly powerful, my confidence has sky rocketed, my anxiety has reduced and my life has moved on in more ways than I could ever have imagined. The biggest thing that jumped out for me from my first EMDR session was the noise in my head, it was silent on my hour long drive home, it was beautiful and slightly perplexing, I hadn’t realised how loud life was in my mind, how busy my racing thoughts had become and here I was driving along searching for this dialogue, not in a negative way, in a totally bemused way that was highly empowering.
The next session which I had recently in February was centred around 2 area’s one was the loss of my stepdaughters from my life, I shared an incredible bond with my exes youngest, we would talk to each other in the voice of Gollum, I would take her to the woods with me, she was my little explorer and taught me many a thing about nature and now she was gone, they were both gone and it hurt like hell, I couldn’t carry on with this level of sadness and I didn’t need too. The day after my session my neighbour popped round with her daughter and I ended up ‘stealing’ her child for the evening and we had a brilliant time, I wouldn’t have been able to do that without negative emotions rising up in me, I am now fully able to think back and talk about the girls in a way I couldn’t have managed before, this was such a better option than door closing, I didn’t want to shut them out of my life, I just needed to move on.
The second part of my session was around dogs, I was badly bitten by a random dog in a park on Christmas eve and had developed fear when dogs ran towards me whilst out walking, what was odd to me was that I couldn’t feel the fear, there was a clear fear response but my logical brain knew that I was safe, it was incredibly surreal. We dealt with the memory of the dog attacking, which then caused a huge release of fear into my body, I could feel it everywhere, this gave me the opportunity to release it for good and it’s really as simple as that, within 4 or 5 sets of eye movements the fear had gone, all that was left was to test how I responded to dogs, that test came a couple of days later as I was walking through the woods and fields, meeting many pups and feeling nothing but a smile rising from deep within.
I love these sessions and I will absolutely use EMDR in the future and if needs be I would also utilise the door closing session for myself too. Therapy is powerful and when you approach therapy holistically and cater it to the individual rather than taking a one size fits all approach the results are quite literally life changing and that’s how it should be.
If you would like to learn more or book an appointment with me I would love to hear from you, I'm always happy to have a chat over coffee and cake, so if face to face interaction is your preference lets get a date in the diary.